Raising a child is the most complicated task for any parent. It’s like a mountain that never ends. We live in a “hyper-connected” world where screens, social media, and the pressure to succeed in school seem to dictate every step our children take… Parents also suffer this constant pressure to make sure their children excel in everything, and most importantly, that they don’t go over the dotted line, that they excel in sports, in math, that they have a good social life, and all of this while they have their own work and personal responsibilities! In the midst of all this noise, experts agree that there is something that can never be overlooked: emotional intelligence.
Beyond children’s academic achievements, learning to manage their emotions can be the greatest gift we give to the generations to come (and it is something that many of us at this point are not able to develop). Stay tuned as we tell you what you need to know about this concept so that you can implement it in raising your children!
What is emotional intelligence?
This term refers to the human capacity to identify, understand and manage both our own emotions and the emotions of the people around us. At an early age, this term manages to create resilient adults, who are capable of building healthy relationships (of any kind) and, above all, much more empathetic and self-confident adults.
In this study that we are telling you about, more than 200 relationships between parents and children have been studied and 7 common strategies have been identified that were adopted at the beginning of parenting to make children emotionally intelligent. We will tell you about them
7 tips to educate your children in emocional intelligence
- Understanding silence and time for reflection: children must be taught that silences do not always have to be filled with words, but that they must also have their space to process their own thoughts and feelings (especially in moments of sadness or frustration). These parents offered consolation without even words, in such a way that they invited them to reflect on what had just happened in order to identify the nature of those feelings.
- Identify emotions: talking about emotions and feelings openly makes them emotionally aware and never have problems expressing these emotions. Repressing emotions, or the myth of “crying is for girls” will only generate adults with communication problems or who have the feeling that they constantly have to hide their feelings.
- Learn to ask for forgiveness and say thank you: mistakes, like everything, are part of life, and assuming responsibility for mistakes will make children have an example of strength and empathy.
- Do not force respect, parents serve as an example, and through observation behaviour, these children have managed to develop respectful behaviours even when they have forgotten to maintain them (for example, forgetting to say “thank you”, it is not best to say “you have to say it” but, say it yourself and let your child learn by example)
- Validate feelings: any concern is big for our children, we must show them that, no matter how small or silly they are, they always matter. In this way, self-esteem and emotional security are fostered and our children will never be afraid to show themselves as they are.
- Not always offering all the solutions, but rather letting the children themselves make their own decisions and initiatives.
- Understanding boredom, teaching them that they do not always have to be doing things, but that boredom exists for a reason (and this makes their creativity develop and they learn to solve problems). Also, it teaches them to enjoy their own company and to find curious moments everywhere.
How do I start?
The main thing is to create a space where all emotions are accepted and valued, talk to your children openly about the feelings that exist, validate their emotions (all of them, not just the good ones), validate their experiences and accompany them when they need it.
Do an exercise of introspection and model your own behaviours that you want your child to copy.
Encourage problem solving by providing open questions instead of giving them all the answers, let your child get bored, you will see what a change!
The children we raise today will be the adults of tomorrow, and it is clear that we do not want to leave them a gloomy and selfish world, we need active, emotionally intelligent and above all, very empathetic people to lead us to a better world.