Selfish, jealous, spoiled, bossy… These are some of the stereotypes that only children have had to deal with for many years. Are they really capricious and unsociable? Their bad reputation precedes them, but now, there are numerous studies that show that these stereotypes have nothing to do with being an only child because these are characteristics that children with siblings also share… Let’s talk about the myths, truths and advantages of being an only child according to the latest studies.
Where do these prejudices come from?
One of the pieces of evidence that these studies are trying to dismantle is that only children grow up with a deficit of social skills, but Alice Goisis, associate professor of Demography at the Centre for Longitudinal Studies at University College London, denies this, pointing out that these children share very similar characteristics to those who do have siblings, their relationship with their parents and personal motivations are usually very similar. So, where do these stereotypes come from?
Well, we would have to go back to the end of the 18th century, when child psychology began to be analysed, psychologists such as G. Stanley Hall and Eugene Bohannon published a series of studies in which they stated that being an only child was a type of “illness” that made them inconsiderate and more sensitive. Alfred Adler, another psychologist, also examined in depth how the family structure affected these children and stated that beyond being spoiled children, their parents were doing them psychological damage by deciding not to have more children. How outrageous!
Are there advantages to being an only child?
So, once these horrible ideas about only children have been banished and we now know that being an only child does not completely define a child’s ability, some differences have been identified that can be observed in the upbringing of these children.
And Linda Blair, another psychologist, has discovered that linguistic development is usually better in these children and from an early age, since they tend to interact more with adults, which develops a linguistic ability that is quite superior to other children.
They are also usually children who develop the ability to manage their free time, making use of their own boredom to foster their own imagination, and, finally, they are children who tend to adapt to formal contexts more easily when they are adults (because most of their childhood has been spent communicating especially with them)
And the disadvantages?
It has nothing to do with the fact that they didn’t improvise boxing fights at home when they were little, or, beyond that, Adriean Mancillas, an American psychologist and author of “Challenging the Stereotypes About Only Children: A Review of the Literature and Implications for Practice” explains that siblings can be a great protection in cases where the family is not a structured family and there is a relationship between the parents.
Blair also highlights the lack of “street smart” which is basically getting ahead of another person’s actions because you know their movements.
Having an only child, the new norm?
Considering that the context in which a child grows up plays a crucial role, nowadays it is very difficult to support one child… imagine two or three! Economic needs (for health and education) make the decision to have more than one child quite complicated, and it is normal that more and more families have only one child, but that does not mean at any time that we can add prejudices to these children! Life is very expensive and the economic and political panorama does not support having children either. But remember, nothing makes a child who has or not siblings grow in one way or another, that depends on the home and the love they receive! And you, are you an only child or one of those who chose the biggest slice of pizza and gave the ugliest one to your little brother?