Being a parent often means juggling to make ends meet, trying to give your children everything without them really noticing what the financial situation at home is like. Parents are our greatest support and are always there when we need them (or at least, they should be, even if that’s not always the case).
At 66 years old, in Sherman Oaks, California, a mother was saying goodbye to her daughter and hoping to do what all mothers do: enjoy the empty nest with her husband. But maybe this mother’s plans were disrupted when, at 27, her daughter returned home in 2024. And everything started to get a bit crazy.
This mother (who decided to remain anonymous so as not to damage her daughter’s image, so we’ll call her Mary) says that she and her husband spend at least $5,000 a month to cover all their daughter’s expenses. And even though young people today work, the precarious conditions they face barely allow them to survive, let alone move out. So this case is far from unique.
This phenomenon, which especially affects baby boomers (our parents’ generation), is leading many to delay retirement, give up travel, sell property, or even go into debt to support their (adult) children. Family dynamics are changing, but why?
The cost of supporting adult children at home
Her daughter was 27 when she decided she needed to come back home. High cost of living, unaffordable rent, a paycheck that’s already gone paying bills… Young people can’t live like this.
But of course, one more mouth to feed (and an adult one) is a lot, even more so with extra expenses. Mary says they spend $1,500 a month on food, $700 on transport, and $400 on her daughter’s cat. And yes, they’re doing it out of love, but they’re draining their savings much faster than planned.
Mary says they hadn’t planned for these expenses but that “they don’t want to see their daughter living on the street”.
Why don’t adult children move out?
Because we can’t. Simple as that. Precarious jobs, ridiculously high rent for places in terrible condition. Buy a house? We wish! For now, we can’t even think about it… Inflation is through the roof, and loans and student salaries don’t even cover basic needs. It’s not that we don’t want independence, we just can’t afford it.
And this isn’t an isolated case in the U.S., it’s something affecting young people all over the world.
Generational crisis or economic collapse?
According to recent data, more than 50% of parents in the U.S. help their adult children financially, and one third support them completely. It’s not that we’re ashamed of the number, but we can’t do anything else. This not only compromises their retirement plans but also creates emotional tension and mental stress. Who wants to live with their parents during their 30s?
The “empty nest” is now a myth
The idea of enjoying old age without responsibilities is falling apart. Instead of peace, many parents face the burden of supporting adult children who, although capable, can’t fly on their own for reasons beyond their control.
What can parents do to protect their future?
Experts recommend setting clear financial boundaries, talking openly with their children about the real costs of living with them, and seeking help from financial advisors. Balancing support and self-preservation is key to avoiding future ruin. Many are also turning to “parent coaches” who help them cope with their adult children.
It’s not easy for anyone. While children fight to find their place in a relentless economy, parents carry a weight that threatens their well-being. What used to be a temporary gesture of support has become a prolonged and unsustainable lifestyle for many households. The question is: how much longer can we keep this up?