Arguments in a relationship are normal. With the passage of time, what was beautiful and simple in the beginning can become more complicated. It’s normal to experience some conflicts, but many times, in the middle of an argument, we say things that make the situation worse. What we want to say may not have the effect we expected and it can damage the relationship. So, we got some tips to learn how to better communicate.
Toxic phrases to avoid in an argument
Relationship experts recommend keeping calm and avoiding certain phrases that can hurt the relationship or leave unsolved issues. These phrases are considered toxic because they create conflict and frustration instead of solutions. Let’s see what we should avoid in arguments:
- Absolute generalizations: saying things like ‘’you always do this’’ or ‘’you never do that’’ is very hurtful. These types of phrases make the other person feel like you only see the negative aspects and never the positive ones. In any relationship, there are always good and bad moments, and using words like ‘’always’’ or ‘’never’’ only makes the argument worse.
- Hurtful comparisons: criticizing your partner by comparing them with an ex, a family member, or a friend is another toxic phrase. These types of comments don’t help reach a solution at all, instead it can create resentment. You should have in mind that every person is different and that every couple is too, which is why comparisons are never useful.
- Minimizing emotions: saying things like “don’t get so upset” or “calm down, it’s not a big deal” can make your partner feel unheard or dismissed. Although you don’t agree with their feelings, it is important to respect them and acknowledge them, because we all deserve to be heard.
- Giving orders or judging: telling your partner what to feel or how to act during an argument is another sign of toxicity. Phrases like these don’t solve anything and they can even make the conflict bigger than it might be.
- Avoid the issue: ignoring a problem or running away from it is also a way of toxicity. Conflicts should be addressed and resolved together, not hidden or ignored.
Handling conflicts in a healthy way
Now that we know what toxic phrases to avoid in an argument, let’s learn what to do during these situations to strengthen the relationship:
- Talk about your feelings: instead of blaming your partner, talk about how you feel. For example, don’t say ‘’you don’t listen to me’’, but ‘’I feel ignored when I feel unheard’’. This helps the other person to understand your view without being blamed.
- Be clear and concrete: you should explain what you really need without waiting for your partner to guess it. Clear communication avoids misunderstandings and resentments.
- Validate your partner: listen and acknowledge your partner’s feelings. Putting yourself in their shoes helps create empathy and reduce tension.
- Focus on the present: don’t start talking about things from the past or about things that have nothing to do with the current argument. Focusing on the moment makes it easier to solve the conflict and prevents old wounds from resurfacing.
To sum up
Arguments happen in every relationship, but how you handle them can make a world of difference. By avoiding toxic phrases—like generalizations, comparisons, minimizing feelings, giving orders, or ignoring problems—you protect your relationship from unnecessary harm.
You are the one with the power to change how conflicts affect your relationship. Start practicing these tips today, and you may find that your arguments become opportunities for growth, connection, and deeper trust. Have you ever experienced an argument? How did you handle it?