Becoming independent has become a luxury for everyone, especially for young people. Many parents are already juggling to make it to the end of the month, but inflation is pushing many families to the limit after many adult children have had to move back into mom and dad’s house because they can’t afford rent. And not because they’re lazy or don’t work, let’s be clear! It’s because rental prices are higher than the precarious wages we young people earn.
And mom and dad are always there, even if they also struggle to make ends meet, but they sacrifice themselves for their children because there’s no better place to be than home.
It may sound like an exaggeration, but more and more young people are returning to their parents’ homes…
The “full nest”
In Sherman Oaks, California, a 66-year-old woman we’ll call Jane was finally hoping to enjoy the “empty nest,” you know, that moment when your kids grow up and start living on their own, and you can relax, not have to pick clothes up off the floor, and order sushi delivery without anyone giving you puppy eyes to steal all the salmon nigiri. Her daughter had already moved out, and she and her husband wanted to rest, travel a bit, and breathe in their more adult stage.
But in 2024, the doorbell rang again, her daughter was coming back home. She was 27 years old, had a low-paying job, a cat, and expenses that didn’t allow her to live on her own. And of course… her bills came back with her.
Jane estimates that supporting her costs them around $5,000 a month:
- $1,500 for food
- $700 for transportation
- $400 for the cat
…and whatever else comes up.
“I thought this stage was over… and now we’re supporting an adult daughter again,” she said.
And she didn’t want to give her real name because, honestly, who doesn’t feel a little guilty or embarrassed about something like this? Not because of her daughter, who was working a precarious job, but because it’s a situation repeating in hundreds of households across the country.
When are our children going to start living on their own if they don’t have economic opportunities?
A trapped generation
More than 50% of young people between 18 and 29 still live with their parents. They’re “young adults” because they’re stuck, with stagnant wages, absurdly high rents, and we can barely even dream of buying a house because we don’t know when we’ll ever earn enough to pay for a mortgage.
The outlook is both scary and sad. Becoming independent is something many people in their 30s don’t even consider anymore (in fact, it’s more likely that their parents will move out before they do).
And this is forcing our parents to postpone retirement, spend their life savings, and even go into debt to cover basic expenses (food, transportation, and medicine). Is that logical?
No more empty nest
Parents barely know what freedom is once their children leave, it just doesn’t exist anymore. And it’s sad that, as children, we have to move back home because our wages are so poor.
And of course, the older we get, the more tension there is. Conflicts between parents and children grow, expenses rise, everyone has their limits, and both sides are frustrated, not to mention there’s absolutely no privacy (no matter how big the house is).
And to think our parents had half their mortgage paid off before they were 30…
Parents between love and fear
Most help out of love… and because seeing a child struggle is simply unbearable. But specialists are quite worried, about mental health, loans that shouldn’t be made, postponed retirements… Everything is adding up and filling a glass that’s about to overflow.
“I can’t let my daughter go hungry or live in an apartment she can’t afford.”
Millennials and Gen Z are dealing with a market that’s nothing like the one their parents faced. The average rent is over $2,000 a month (and buying, as we said, isn’t even imaginable). The federal minimum wage is $7.25 and hasn’t gone up since 2009, and we don’t even want to think about the student debt they’re still carrying…
“For a 25-year-old, living alone without going into debt is practically impossible.”
Where are we headed?
Some economists believe that moving back in together could redefine the idea of family in the U.S., but it’s more a sign that the system is broken and not working.
Economists recommend setting boundaries and responsibilities, seeking counseling, and trying to hang in there, but we know not everyone can.
And this is just one of the thousands of stories repeated every week in our country. For us, becoming independent is no longer an option.