Communication is an essential act of human beings. Surely you have ever found yourself involved in a conversation where, no matter how hard you try to assert your point of view, the other person simply does not shut up or does not listen to you!! Or perhaps you have wondered how some people manage to make others seem like natural “influencers” and other people follow their ideas almost effortlessly. But what is the key to this? The way we communicate can open doors and even help us get what we want, without the other person feeling manipulated. It is not about magic tricks, but about using phrases that generate trust. You are in the right place if you want to improve your ability to influence others. These six phrases can change everything!!
Validate your classmates’ work and opinions.
You don’t have to agree with everything they say, but acknowledging a point of view or opinion generates trust. Expressions like “you’re right,” which we find so hard to say, are very useful in this case. This type of statement makes the listener feel praised and valued, which will make them feel more motivated to continue doing it. How many times could your parents have told you that when you failed an exam? Everything would have been different!
Ask for more information
Yes, one of the easiest ways to gain influence in your environment is to practice active listening (listening with full interest in what the other person is saying. Questions like “What do you think about this?” or “Can you explain it to me better?” will make the other person feel more valued and the conversation will flow much more smoothly.
Using comprehensive language that serves to validate what you are hearing, put it into practice and you will see the changes!
Ask for help
It seems like an impossible task, but accepting that you need help or that one person alone is not enough to complete a task does not make you more vulnerable or weaker, it makes you much more human. People like to feel that they are useful for something, so make your coworkers feel like leaders and that they are the ones who “manage” the situation. This will make you not work with those who are led, but with leaders, and they will take you as an example.
Language is key to motivating or discouraging certain actions. In one study, participants were given the option to claim money that did not belong to them. One group was told “don’t cheat” and the other “don’t be a cheat.” It sounds silly, but those people who heard the second option didn’t even try because the speaker had invoked people’s desire to maintain a good image. How psychology works!
“What a great idea!”
What’s better than feeling that your work is recognized and that your ideas are good. Even if you have already considered that option and you don’t like it, or you don’t think it could work, making your workers or colleagues feel valued is priceless. You can include the option of putting it into practice so that, even if the idea doesn’t work, that person feels infinitely valued.
“Can you give me some advice?”
Asking for advice is one of the actions that makes our listeners feel most flattered. It means that you value their opinion and their life experience. This way, they will give you a different point of view and share their wisdom with you. This is where a bond is formed that is very difficult to break!
Offer your help
Always support the people around you just as you would like them to support you, offering your help to other people will make that person also want to help you in the future! A win-win!!
These phrases are not magic or advanced psychology, they are just accepting and understanding the value of active and human communication. Try to put them into practice to be a true influencer in your environment!